I Don’t Wait to Live: The Power of Becoming Your Own Best Friend

Jessica Hopkins
Jan 4
3 min read

A friend said something to me recently that stopped me in my tracks... in the best way.

He told me he experience me as grounded and solid, and that not everyone can spend the most “social” holidays on their own without falling apart. He said it felt like my confidence comes from my body more than my brain like it’s embodied, not performed. And honestly?

He wasn't wrong. Because I don’t wait on anyone to have fun. I don’t wait for a group chat to confirm plans. I don’t wait for a partner to make life feel “complete.” I don’t wait for someone to choose me before I choose myself. If I want to go, I go. Even if it’s alone.

The Old Story: “Don’t Do It Alone”

Many of us were taught directly or subtly that doing things alone means something is wrong:

“You don’t want to go by yourself.”
“Just wait until someone can go with you.”
“It’s kind of sad to be alone on a holiday.”
“What will people think?”

But what if the real tragedy isn’t being alone? What if the real tragedy is postponing your life because you’re waiting for company? I’ve done that before. I’ve waited. I’ve delayed. I’ve shrunk my world to match someone else’s availability. And I’m not doing that anymore.

What I Learned When I Stopped Waiting

When you start showing up for yourself consistently, something powerful happens:

1) You become your own best friend

You learn how to be with yourself without distraction.You learn what you actually like not what you tolerate because someone else chose it. You become the kind of person you can rely on.

2) You build real self-trust

Confidence doesn’t come from hype. It comes from evidence. And every time you do the thing you thought you couldn’t do alone, you build proof: “I can handle my life.”, “I can create joy.”, “I can be safe with myself.”, “I can choose me.”

3) You stop confusing attachment with love

Sometimes we cling to the wrong people because we fear being alone. But when you become solid within yourself, you stop bargaining for crumbs.You stop tolerating inconsistency.You stop staying in dynamics that require you to betray your own needs.

Because you realize: Loneliness is not the worst thing. Self-abandonment is.

4) You learn who you are when no one is watching

There’s a different kind of peace that comes when you’re not performing.

You notice your patterns.You hear your intuition.You feel your body. You don’t have to negotiate your joy. You just live.

The “Plus” Nobody Talks About

Here’s the part people don’t say out loud: Being able to enjoy life alone makes you harder to control. Because you can’t be threatened with silence .You can’t be manipulated with withdrawal. You can’t be kept in limbo with breadcrumbs. When you’re solid within yourself, you don’t chase. You choose. And that changes who has access to you.

I’m Proud of Myself

I’m proud of myself for stepping into this light. Not because I never feel sadness. Not because I never want companionship. But because I didn’t let fear lead. I didn’t let other people’s availability define my life. I didn’t let the absence of a partner become the absence of joy. I didn’t let “waiting” become my identity. I learned how to be my own best friend. And that has changed everything.

For the Woman Who’s Learning This Too

If you’re in a season where you’re learning how to stand on your own, I want you to hear me: You’re not behind. You’re building. And one day, you’ll look back and realize the thing you thought was “lonely” was actually your foundation.

If you’re learning how to stop waiting, stop shrinking, and start choosing yourself especially after emotionally unavailable or toxic dynamics I can help. Work with me 1:1 to rebuild self-trust, boundaries, and standards rooted in your peace. Visit my website to explore coaching + resources, and book a free Reframe Call when you’re ready.