My Body Knew Before My Heart Did

Jessica Hopkins
Nov 14
3 min read

Updated: Nov 15

*How Somatic Clues Often Reveal the Truth Before Our Emotions Catch Up*

“I thought I was in love.”

I thought I was building something real. I thought the discomfort I felt was just anxiety. Overthinking. Overreacting. Too much. But the truth is…My body knew before my heart did.

The Body Doesn’t Lie, But We’re Taught to Ignore It

Before I could name the gaslighting, the emotional withdrawal, the slow erosion of my self-worth…My body was already signaling something was off. Tight chest. Restless sleep. A knot in my stomach. A lump in my throat before every conversation. Fatigue that no amount of rest could fix. I didn’t recognize it as a trauma response at the time. I just kept pushing through believing that love was supposed to be hard, and that maybe if I was just a little more patient, a little more forgiving, things would get better. But they didn’t. And eventually, I realized: My nervous system was screaming what my heart wasn’t ready to hear.

Why Your Body Often Knows First

Your body keeps the score. Literally. Long before your conscious mind can accept a painful truth, your nervous system is already reacting. This is especially true for women who’ve been conditioned to:

Rationalize bad behavior
Excuse red flags as “normal”
Prioritize emotional connection over physical well-being
Disconnect from intuition in order to “keep the peace”

When your partner changes suddenly...When the tone of the relationship shifts…When their words say “I love you,” but your body feels unsafe…It’s not paranoia. It’s pattern recognition.

My Symptoms Weren’t Random, They Were Warnings

Here are just a few of the signals I ignored:

Stomach tension before phone calls
Headaches after every argument I had to “smooth over”
Exhaustion that didn’t match my workload
Shaky hands after his affection turned cold for no reason
Hypervigilance constantly on edge, waiting for the next shift in his mood

I labeled them stress. Hormones. Life. But the truth is, I was living in a state of chronic emotional dysregulation while still calling it love.

My Heart Was Still Holding On

And why wouldn’t it?

I wasn’t just grieving a person, I was grieving a future. A fantasy. The version of him I thought was real. The version I kept hoping would return. So my heart stayed attached to the potential... even as my body was withdrawing to survive the reality. And that inner split between body and heart is where so many women suffer the most.

Healing Starts in the Body First

Before I could rebuild my identity…Before I could rewrite the story…I had to feel safe inside my own body. That meant:

Slowing down and listening
Noticing what tightened, what fluttered, what felt heavy
Honoring the physical cues that used to be dismissed
Validating my nervous system before trying to “make sense” of it all

Because sometimes, the truth doesn’t arrive through logic. Sometimes, it whispers through symptoms.

Your Body Is Your First Boundary

Before you say “no,” your body says no.

Before you walk away, your gut tightens at the thought of staying.

Before your mind catches up, your system is already choosing survival.

Don’t wait until your body is screaming to finally believe yourself.

You don’t need another apology. You don’t need “proof.” You don’t need a catastrophic betrayal to justify leaving. If your body feels unsafe, you’re allowed to go.

From Surviving to Reclaiming

When I finally left, I grieved. Deeply. But I also breathed easier. I slept more soundly. My body started to relax before I even had the words to explain why. That’s how I knew I had made the right decision. Because your nervous system doesn’t lie. Even when your heart wants to.

Your Body Knows...Are You Ready to Listen?

If this blog spoke to something deep within you…If your body has been trying to get your attention…If your heart is struggling to catch up with the truth your body already knows…

Please know: You are not alone. And you're not crazy. You're becoming aware.

Inside my 1:1 coaching, I support women just like you, women who are finally ready to: