Reclaim Your Power: What True Healing Looks Like
- Jessica Hopkins
- Jun 26
- 7 min read
Updated: Sep 11
Introduction: My Life as a Narcissistic Abuse Survivor (and now Empowerment Coach)
At URNA, we believe healing is more than survival, it's about rising, reclaiming, and returning home to yourself. This post shares my personal reclamation journey in Tenerife and how it connects to the final pillar of The Power Framework, a 5-pillar path that reflects the stages I walked through to heal from narcissistic abuse and reclaim my life.
Whether you’re just beginning your healing or seeking tools to thrive, this is for you.
What Does Reclaiming Your Power Really Mean?
Reclaiming your power isn’t about revenge, it’s about restoration. It’s about releasing the masks, rewriting your story, and remembering your truth. For women healing from narcissistic abuse, emotional manipulation, or betrayal trauma, this process is sacred. It's the moment where you no longer live in survival mode. You begin to live on your terms.
The Power Framework: A 5-Pillar Path to Healing
This framework was born from my lived experience. Every pillar reflects a chapter I walked through not as a coach, but as a woman healing in real time. My journey didn’t begin with strength. It began with confusion, heartbreak, and survival. Each stage below includes part of my story including moments from my healing milestone in Tenerife so you know: I didn’t just design this, I lived it.
1. Awareness – “I see the truth.”
Presence is where it all begins. It’s not just about being in the moment, it’s about noticing. Noticing the tightness in your chest. The constant second-guessing. The fear behind your silence. The cycle you keep calling love.
Presence is awareness.
It’s the moment you stop running and start observing.
It’s asking: “
"Why am I accepting this?”
"When did I start abandoning myself?”
“What’s real here and what’s manipulation?”
This is the moment the fog begins to lift.
At first, I didn’t know I was in a toxic relationship. There were no visible bruises just confusion, emotional withdrawal, and constant self-doubt. I was told I was “too sensitive,” that I imagined things, or that I was being dramatic. I started journaling to make sense of it and when I read my own words back, I saw a pattern I could no longer ignore.
In Tenerife, I walked the coastal paths in silence, replaying those journaled truths. With every wave that crashed near my feet, I remembered: I wasn’t imagining things. I was awakening.
"I thought I was the problem. Then I realized I was being emotionally manipulated.”
Keywords: Clarity • Naming • Truth
Download: Recognizing Red Flags Resource
2. Ownership – “I protect my peace.”
Once you see clearly, you can begin to take your power back. Ownership doesn’t mean blaming yourself for the abuse. It means reclaiming authorship over your life. It’s saying: “This happened. But I get to choose what happens next.”
It’s no longer living as a character in someone else’s story. It’s stepping into the role of the narrator, the one who names the truth and sets the course.
I remember the first time I said, “No, that’s not okay.” My voice trembled. I expected rage or abandonment. But I chose to say it anyway. Setting boundaries was terrifying at first, especially with family and people I loved. But each “no” gave birth to a deeper “yes” to myself.
During my Tenerife trip, I chose how I spent every hour no obligations, no justifying my decisions.
“I stopped explaining myself to people committed to misunderstanding me.”
Keywords: Safety • Permission • Respect
Listen: Setting Boundaries for Healing
3. Worth – “I am enough as I am.”
The lies they told you? That you were too much. Too emotional. Too needy. Not enough. All of it was projection. Not truth. Worth is where you begin to remember what was never lost, only buried.
It’s saying:
“I deserve respect without having to earn it.”
“I am lovable without being perfect.”
“I no longer shrink to be chosen.”
This is where you begin to believe: I matter. You no longer define your value through others' treatment of you. Instead, you root into self-love, self-compassion, and the belief that your needs, desires, and dreams are valid.
There was a time I believed I had to earn love through perfection, silence, or sacrifice. Leaving that belief behind meant grieving the version of me who thought love was transactional. I started treating myself with the care I had once begged others for. That’s when things began to shift.
In Tenerife, I embraced my worth by dressing for me, not for the camera or for anyone’s approval. I walked barefoot on volcanic sand, not needing anyone’s permission to just be.
“I no longer beg for scraps. I nourish myself in full.”
Keywords: Value • Self-Love • Belonging
Tool: The Self-Worth Compass
4. Empowerment – “I lead with intention.”
Empowerment is when you stop waiting for validation. You stop seeking permission. You stop overexplaining your boundaries. It’s in the steady voice you now speak with. The sacred “no” that comes from clarity. The “yes” that comes from self-trust. Empowerment isn’t a performance. It’s peace. And it’s yours.
This is where I began making decisions from power, not from pain. I changed how I spent my time. I launched my podcast. I started saying yes to opportunities and people that felt aligned and no to anything that made me question my voice. I stopped waiting for permission and gave it to myself.
In Tenerife, I curated my own itinerary; planned my excursions with the assistance of the wonderful concierge service at Bahía Del Duque, met with local guides, and honoured my rhythm, not anyone else's expectations. Even jet skiing alone became a reminder of my courage.
“I stopped asking ‘Am I allowed?’ and started asking ‘What do I want?’”
Keywords: Voice • Agency • Confidence
Join: The Power Collective
5. Reclamation – “I live on my terms.”
This is the moment you realize… You’re no longer surviving. You’re no longer fighting to be seen. You are seen by yourself. Reclamation is your return to wholeness. It’s the joy you allow yourself to feel. It’s the softness you give your inner child. It’s the moment you say: “I am no longer hers. I am no longer his. I am mine.”
In Tenerife, I lived this truth. From my solo fine dining experience to unexpected kindness from strangers, I felt held by the universe and for the first time fully held by me. Free from who they said I had to be. Free to choose softness, sensuality, solitude, and strength. My photoshoot wasn’t just about looking powerful, it was about feeling whole. On a cliff’s edge, barefoot and glowing in the last light of day, I whispered, “I am mine.” This wasn’t a performance. It was a promise.
“Barefoot, sun-kissed, and unapologetic, this is what reclamation looks like.”
Keywords: Freedom • Joy • Sovereignty
My Healing Milestone in Tenerife
In June 2025, I traveled to Tenerife, Spain not for a vacation, but to mark the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one.
I stayed at the peaceful Bahía del Duque and wore a powerful gown designed by Mac Duggal. It symbolized everything I had become: bold, soft, strong, and sovereign. I wasn’t just posing for a photo. I was reclaiming my body, my time, my story.
This was my declaration of freedom.
Getting out of a Toxic Relationship: this Is What Healing Looks Like
Golden hour. Bare feet. No mask. No fear.
The images from Tenerife are more than beautiful, they’re evidence. Evidence that you can survive, heal, and thrive on your own terms.
How You Can Begin Your Reclamation Journey after Narcissistic Abuse
You don’t have to fly across the world to start, but you do have to take one courageous step. URNA is here to walk beside you.
Here's how you can begin:
Join The Power Collective: Our private community for survivors of narcissistic abuse
Book a 1:1 Coaching Session: Personalized support from a trauma-informed lens
5 Signs You’re Ready to Reclaim Your Power
You feel tired of always trying to prove your worth
You’re craving peace, even if it costs approval
You’ve begun questioning what “love” and “loyalty” really mean
You’re done shrinking to make others comfortable
You no longer want to survive, you want to thrive
FAQs: Reclaiming Your Power
What does it mean to reclaim your power?
It means creating a life rooted in truth, not trauma after leaving a narcissistic abusive relationship. You stop giving others the power to define you and start writing your own story.
Can I begin this process if I’m still in the toxic relationship?
Yes. Many women begin with internal reclamation: awareness, journaling, and boundary practice. Your journey is valid, no matter where you start.
Is this framework only for survivors of narcissistic abuse?
While it was created with survivors in mind, this framework supports any woman who has been silenced, minimized, or conditioned to doubt her worth.
Final Words: You Are Not Alone
Walking through the Power Framework changed everything for me. It helped me rise from the wreckage of emotional abuse and rediscover the woman I was always meant to be.
If you’re reading this and thinking “That’s what I need,” you’re right. You deserve this journey. You are worthy of healing. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Let me walk with you.
Book a free Relationship Reframe Call and let’s take the first step together.
And if you’d like to explore my visual journey through Tenerife, where I embodied each of these pillars in real time, visit my dedicated Reclamation Webpage, a space to feel inspired, empowered, and free.
Whether you're standing on the cliffs of Tenerife or scrolling this blog in quiet heartbreak, know this:
You don’t have to keep pretending. You don’t have to carry it all. You can reclaim your power. And we’re here to walk with you.
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