Why Do We Rush Intimacy When We Don’t Rush Friendships?
- Jessica Hopkins
- Sep 12
- 2 min read
The Friendship Contrast
Think about the last time you met a new friend. You probably:
Spent time together casually.
Paid attention to how they made you feel.
Slowly built trust over weeks or months.
You didn’t hand over your heart on day one, you let consistency earn your trust.
So why is it different with intimate relationships? Why do we rush in with blind hope, ignoring the very patterns we’d carefully observe in a friendship?
Why We Rush Into Intimacy
There are a few reasons:
Fear of being alone - loneliness makes us cling to connection before it’s proven safe.
Societal pressure - culture tells us our worth is tied to being chosen, partnered, married.
Love-bombing - toxic partners fast forward intimacy with flattery and grand gestures.
Trauma patterns - if you’ve experienced neglect, love that feels chaotic can also feel familiar.
The problem? Rushing skips the critical step of observation and that’s where the truth always lives.
Why Slowing Down Matters
A healthy relationship, like a friendship, develops through time, consistency, and trust. Slowing down allows you to:
Notice if their words match their actions.
See how they respond to your boundaries.
Observe whether their affection is steady or conditional.
Protect yourself from emotional breadcrumbing or love-bombing.
Love doesn’t need to be rushed, it needs to be real.
My Experience
In my own journey, I realized I often treated friendships with more caution than intimacy. I gave men the benefit of the doubt too quickly, excused red flags, and invested before I had clarity. Looking back, it wasn’t love I was rushing into, it was the fear of being alone I was trying to escape. Now I know: the right person won’t make me sprint. They’ll walk with me, at a pace that feels safe and steady.
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Final Words
If you wouldn’t rush a friendship, don’t rush intimacy. The same rules apply: trust is earned, not given. Take your time, honor your boundaries, and remember...you’re not “falling behind” by slowing down. You’re protecting your heart for the love you actually deserve.
With love,
Jessica 💜
Ready to stop rushing and start observing?
Book your free Relationship Reframe Call - gain clarity before you
dive in.
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