They Didn’t Even Know Me

Jessica Hopkins
Oct 24
2 min read

*How Being Misunderstood Reveals the Power of Knowing Yourself*

Have you ever felt unseen, even in a room full of people who were supposed to love you?

They celebrated your victories when it suited them. Criticized your choices when you dared to grow. Called you “too much” when you expressed a boundary. And yet, when it all crumbled, when the masks were off, it hit you: They didn’t even know you. Not the real you. Not the version of you that stayed up late dreaming of a better life. Not the version that broke generational cycles in silence. Not the version that tried, really tried to make everyone else comfortable, even at the cost of your own peace. And that realization? It stings. But it also sets you free.

The Version They Loved Was Never Fully You

They loved the version of you that didn’t speak up. The one who went along with their dysfunction. The one who twisted herself into shapes to avoid conflict or rejection. That version felt “safe” to them because she didn’t challenge the status quo. But the minute you began asking deeper questions…

The moment you said, “I deserve better than this,”

The second you stood in your truth instead of playing a role?

You became the villain in their story.

They Were Never Looking Closely And That’s Not Your Fault

If you’ve ever asked, “How could they not see me?”, you’re not alone. It’s a common grief in the healing process. We assume people who claim to love us are also willing to understand us. But that’s not always the case. Sometimes people don’t want to see who you are. Because if they did, they’d have to confront who they’ve been to you. And that truth? It’s inconvenient.

The Power in Being Misunderstood

It sounds counterintuitive, but being misunderstood is often the doorway to deep clarity.

Clarity about who’s truly in your corner.
Clarity about how much energy you’ve been spending proving your worth.
Clarity about the sacredness of your becoming.

They didn’t see you because they weren’t meant to walk with you. You’re not here to convince, to perform, or to dilute yourself. You’re here to reclaim your power.

Knowing Yourself Is the Highest Form of Protection

When you know yourself, your values, your needs, your wounds, your worth no one can distort your truth. Let them gossip. Let them twist the narrative. Let them play victim when you finally said no more. Their version of you may circulate in rooms you’ll never enter again.

But your version, the healed, whole, awake version is the only one that matters now.